Hi everyone,
Hope you had a great week. This morning I woke up a little more stiff than usual. There’s snow on the ground, I thought, there’s pressure in the air. Maybe I slept in a strange position or maybe I twisted awkwardly yesterday…
…or maybe it’s the result of waking up a day older. In the words of that famous rock and roll visionary legend: ‘what a drag it is getting old.’
Actually, I believe that age is a state of mind (as the cliche goes). Though I’m the first to admit that I believe this because I often forget how old everyone in my family is, so as age affects my memory, I opt to believe it’s a state of mind – and round I go.
The movement forward, the aging process, the journey of a life.
In this week’s parshah, Lech Lecha, we are introduced to a journey that will seed covenant and begin the Jewish people. God approaches Abraham to accompany God toward…? He is told they are moving toward a place God will show him, in other words, an unknown destiny. That means he doesn’t know where he’s going, so he won’t know when he gets there – a journey of life.
Not once does Abraham ask ‘are we there yet’, as none of us would ask that question of our life journey, though we always try and imagine the next stage. I remember being a little girl and getting so excited as every birthday approached because I was getting closer to being a grown up. I remember thinking that when I become a grown up, everything will make sense. Grown ups have it all figured out and never feel confused. I couldn’t wait to join that club. The journey of life is realizing I’m still waiting to find that club and ultimately understanding that this elusive club doesn’t exist.
Hundreds of years ago, a Protestant minister wrote about his belief that children blame themselves for everything that goes wrong because they understand that the world is run by adults. Everything wrong in the world must be the result of demons (thinks the child) and if the adults are responsible, then the adults are demons and the world is run by the devil. But, if the child blames themselves for all the problems, then the world, which is run by adults (who are now angels) is a safe place. Children must blame themselves and think they are the sinful ones or they will never believe the world could be a safe place.
But we know the child is wrong, the world is a confusing and often painful place and it has been impacted tremendously by terrible people.
So it seems that the words of Mick Jagger ring sadly relevant – what a drag indeed.
But then a curious and quirky moment of Torah catches my attention.
Sarah and Abraham are about to enter Egypt and they are both in their 80s. Abraham worries that Sarah will be taken into Pharaoh’s harem because of her beauty. In fact, she is indeed taken into the harem because of her beauty. We all pause and wonder if 80 years old means something different in those days. What is the average age of the women in this harem?
And then I remember the cover of a newsmagazine I saw years ago. It was the face of a woman in her 80s, her face, etched with wrinkles, looked like a roadmap of her life. The headline indicated she was an African woman and considered the most beautiful woman in the region. The article discussed how beauty was defined by life experience and not youth. In a second I understood that anyone would be honoured and flattered to be chosen by this woman as a partner since she had so much experience she could quickly discern who was an exceptional partner. Beauty is in the gathering of experiences – the more wrinkles the more beautiful.
Of course Sarah would now be in the harem. Imagine what the challenges of an uncharted relationship with God would do to her countenance, to her eyes.
The Torah unapologetically shows us that getting older is getting more beautiful because wisdom is beauty.
And so we read of their journey with God, with each other and with the people around them. As Jews we are taught that everything begins with Lech Lecha, God approaching Abraham to take a journey. Interestingly, we disconnect this parshah from what happened immediately before it. Abraham did not begin a journey, it is his father, Terach, who began the journey. His father took the whole family and left the Chaldeans and began a journey of discovery. Then, in the midst of the journey, Terach died and the family stagnated. They dwelled in the place of his death and did not move forward. That’s when God approaches Abraham and tells him he must journey forward. It is both a statement pulling toward movement as much as a statement objecting to stagnation.
It’s a parallel concept to Shabbat. We are equally commanded to be productive for 6 days as we are commanded to refrain on Shabbat. The positive and the negative balancing each other.
So when I wake up stiff in the morning and the words from Mick Jagger enter my mind, I stretch and get the blood flowing. I remind myself that I can hum the tune and smile at the words, but getting old only gives me more insight to the new travels I will begin.
Abraham and Sarah dislodge themselves, late in their lives, and begin their journey from where Terach left off. Every Jewish person inherits their own version of the ‘lech lecha’ journey, but we do not set our feet on a newly created road made just for us. If we glance backward we will see the road has been paved behind us. Abraham and Sarah continue the journey begun by Terach.
God has told them they must never stagnate as we learn that the journey of a life takes longer than a lifetime.